Positive
by Treason666
Summary: Kurt is born HIV-positive, um yeah, not much more than that and his struggle with it and life
1. Chapter 1

_Positive_ by MortalityIsAnExpiryDate

AN: Okay, so I've been fighting with this idea for quite some time now, for months really, and I have decided to go with it, it will not be abandoned like my other fictions.

And to Mike, this one's for you, even though you will probably never read this.

A bit about my version of Kurt:

Okay, so I started writing this and see my version of Kurt as a semi-badboy, I mean, he IS kinda based off of my friend, so actually the only thing similar between my version of Kurt and the Glee version of Kurt is their love for fashion and that they can sing...

So, anyhow, Kurt does (obviously) look like Chris Colfer, but with a few piercings and a tattoo... He has the bottom right side of his lip and his left eyebrow pierced, and he has a tattoo of a pair of angel wings with "Elizabeth" in cursive and her date of birth and death on his left hip bone.

Chapter One:

Kurt woke up just before his alarm went off, fumbling for his bottle of AZT, it was 7:25, in five minutes he would have to take it, just like he has for the past 16 years, every day, twice a day, at 7:30. He hated this, hated his biological mother for doing this to him, and hated her for being a drug addict, making him positive, thank god she is dead. He was a walking stereotypical gay kid, down to the way he dressed, and of course, the fact that he was HIV-positive. Kurt always knew he was adopted, the fact he looked nothing like his parents proved it, not to mention the fact that Elizabeth Hummel wasn't like him, she wasn't positive, and it wasn't why she died. His alarm went off. He popped the pills in his mouth and grabbed the bottle of water by his bed, took a mouthful and swallowed.

Kurt sighed, taking a look around his room and mentally began picking out his clothes for the day. He pulled on a robe, gathered his bag, and pulled out the papers, put a good sized pinch and started rolling it back and forth; he licked the sticky part and twisted the end. He ran up the stairs, popped in a piece of bread in the toaster, then went out the back door, and dug out his lighter. He also hated the fact that to be able to stomach food he had to roll a joint.

"It's not like it's illegal, it _is_ medicinal." Medicinal marijuana, the only reason he could eat. Everyone at school thought he was a drugged up kid, but it wasn't his fault, weed smelt like weed, and nothing could cover that smell up, he tried everything. No one at school knew, other than Finn, that he was positive.

He heard another alarm go off, Finn. Sure enough, just as he was digging out his roach clip, he heard footsteps go up the stairs, and the door opened, Finn stuck his head out the door, like he always did.

"Hey, do you want me to hit the button on the toaster?"

"Yes Finn" he muttered, and finished the joint.

"Okay, I will!" Finn said happily, and then closed the door. Why Finn was a morning person, Kurt had no idea, morning people should be illegal. He went back inside, entered his room, dug out the outfit he planned on wearing, and then entered the bathroom. He looked in the mirror, and sighed again, at least he didn't have the rash yet. He got dressed, quickly did his skin care routine, and then went upstairs, just as the toaster popped. He was starting to get hungry, finally. Kurt grabbed the toast, then started to dig around for the jar of peanut butter, he couldn't find it.

"Hey Finn, have you seen the peanut butter?" he asked, right before Finn left the house.

"Uhhh, yeah, I finished it off this morning, sorry bro." Finn said sheepishly, "but there is still honey in the cupboard, I'll get Mom to pick up some more PB on the way home."

"Kay, thanks Finn, but don't bother Carole, I need to run over to the pharmacy, so I'll grab some on my way." Kurt replied, finding the honey and popping the lid, spreading some on his toast with a knife, putting the two pieces of bread together, and holding it in his mouth he grabbed a plastic bag to put it in.

"Okay I guess I'll see you at school." Finn said then left, the sound of a car starting was heard moments later.

Kurt grabbed his school bag, shoved in what to everyone else looked like a makeup bag or a pencil case, but in reality held his weed, papers, and pipe, along with a copy of his prescription. He grabbed his keys off the counter, checked his jacket for his phone, iPod, and his cigarettes, pulled out the pack, dug one out, and lit it at the same time as the door shut behind him. He walked to his car, smoke in one hand, and his bag across his shoulders, with a plastic bag with his toast in it in his other hand with his car keys. He put his toast on top of the car to unlock the door, opened the door, took a drag of his smoke, grabbed his toast and put it on the passenger seat, tossed his bag in the backseat, got in, shut the door, and then started the car and rolled down his window. Kurt pulled out of the driveway, ashed his smoke, took a few more drags, and then drove down the street.

_ Just another fucking Monday, I hate Monday's_ he thought, then turned on the radio, and drove to school.

End Chapter One

I know, it's short (well, it is short to me, not even 1000 words), but should I keep going?


	2. Chapter 2

_Positive_ by MortalityIsAnExpiryDate

AN: You know, last chapter I forgot a disclaimer, but I never really understood why you HAD to have them, I mean _really_, do I look like Ryan Murphy? Well, I guess you can't see me, but I am not a 46 year old gay man, I am an 18 year old pansexual girl, definitely NOT Ryan Murphy... I am writing this in my basement, when I really should be writing my 1000 word essay on _Life of Pi_ by Yann Martel, not this fic... Anyhow: Mike is a 16 year old gay boy, and my best friend, he is also HIV-positive, and has been from birth. Parts of this fic is his story, the rest artistic licence with a bit of _Glee_ thrown in there, I'm gonna miss you when you're gone sweetie! I do not own _Glee_, or the stuff I have taken that is Mike's life... And the contents of my pockets are smokes that I didn't pay for (but I do have to pay my friend back who bought them for me), a lighter, and 3 cents, Canadian, and a bit of pocket fluff... Is that REALLY worth suing for? And note: Kurt's schedule is based off of my grade 11 one, except I was in Art when Kurt was in Drama, Christian Ethics when Kurt has Psychology and Film when Kurt has Spanish.

Chapter Two:

Kurt pulled into the McKinley student parking lot and lit up another cigarette and pulled out his schedule.

_First Period English, fuck, something that involves thought, second period Drama isn't so bad, followed by French, then Math A30, then lunch, then Physics and then Chemistry this semester. Could be worse, but it is shitty about the first period English. _He thought to himself_, _

_ Next semester is a bit better. First period Psychology, second period spare, third period Spanish, then Math B30, then Lunch followed by English and History. Both semesters I have to think first thing in the morning, but I'm not really complaining. _ He was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock on the door of his car, it was Finn.

"What do you want Finn?" he snapped, glaring at his cigarette that went out sometime during his thoughts, so he relit it.

"What classes do you have this year?" Finn asked him

"Just what is required plus Math A and B30, French, Psych, Spanish, and Drama" Kurt replied.

"What sciences?" Finn asked

"What is this Finn, the fucking Spanish Inquisition? If you must know, I took Chemistry and Physics; it is too dangerous for me to take Bio, especially with the dissection part." Kurt snapped, taking a few drags of his cigarette.

"I was just wondering! So, what do you have first?" Finn asked, slightly hurt.

"I have English with Hagberg, I also have both Maths with her, I have French with some new teacher, Psych with another new one, and Spanish and Drama with Schue, and Chem is with another new teacher, Beitse, and Physics with Hagberg too... I have FIVE classes with her!" Kurt snapped, nearly yelling. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, it's just been really rough, I need to go back in for testing next week."

"It's gonna get better Kurt, you'll see." Finn replied

"Are you a fucking idiot? HIV is terminal, I'm not gonna get better, I'm just gonna get worse, here, have my toast, I'm not hungry anymore, and all I did was put some honey on it and shoved it in a bag, so you don't gotta worry." Kurt muttered, shoving the forgotten about toast at Finn as he opened the door, jumping out of his car. He then looked at his car and realized he forgot to roll up the window.

He shoved his cigarette in Finn's face, "Hold this" he said, as he turned back around and restarted his car, holding down the button to roll up his window. Kurt then turned off his car and pulled his keys out, shoving them in his pocket, grabbing his smoke from Finn, who was holding it as far away from himself as possible, he put it in his mouth then opened the backseat door, pulling out his bag, checking to see if anything fell out, satisfied that it didn't he closed the door behind him and hit the 'lock' button on his keys. Kurt started walking towards the school; Finn behind him, munching on the toast, Kurt took one last drag of his cigarette then dropped it and stepped on the butt, firmly twisting his foot to make sure it was out.

"Time to face the mob," he muttered as he opened the doors to the school, meanwhile fumbling with his schedule to try and find his locker number. As soon as he saw the number in the corner he texted Mercedes _Ur locker is 3 down from mine_, _meet # 378? Need 2 unpack & catch up, havent seen u in 3 weeks_ Kurt shoved his phone in his pocket and went to his locker, digging out his lock once he got there, and started unpacking his stuff. He was bumped and his "pencil case" fell out of his bag, and Santana picked it up.

"Wonder what Prancy Smurf has in the bag?" she asked, smirking.

"No Santana, don't, please—" It was too late; she already undid the zipper, and opened it. His marijuana. She took it out, but shuffled closer to his locker, almost touching him.

"What the fuck Hummel, you don't bring this shit in the school, you keep it in your fucking car!" she furiously whispered in his ear. "What will your dad say if you get caught?"

"He knows Santana, it's medicinal." Kurt said back

"Prove it." She said in reply, so he took the bag from her and pulled out the photocopy of the prescription that he had to keep on him. He showed it to her.

"Your dad's my doctor." He muttered

"But that means—" She gasped

"Shut up Santana, you and Finn are the only ones who know, I would prefer it if the students just saw me as the drugged up gay kid in glee club." Kurt said back.

"But Hummel, this is BIG, who'd you get it from and when?" She grilled him.

"My mother, when I was born, I'm one of the 25% of kids who get it at birth because their mom's aren't on medication, I'm also a fucking drug baby, happy?" He snapped, slamming his locker door shut when he was done unpacking his stuff, he took out his English binder and shoved it in his bag, taking the little bag from Santana's hands and zipping it shut, shoving it in the bottom of his bag, he took off his jacket and folded it neatly and placed it in his bag, being careful not to squish his cigarettes.

He walked away, heading to the English room. Kurt sighed, it was going to be a _long_ day, and he knew all of glee club was going to know he was positive by the lunch hour.

Sure enough, when Kurt walked into the choir room at lunch, reeking of weed, everyone was waiting and staring at him, Mike, Tina, Mercedes, and surprisingly Puck had tears in their eyes. Unsurprisingly, Rachel was already crying.

"S'up guys?" Kurt asked, nonchalantly. That did it, Tina, Puck and Mercedes burst into tears. He dug his lunch out of the McDonalds bag and held out the fries.

"McDicks fries anyone?" He asked. Puck looked at him like he was crazy.

"We just find out that you're dying, and you ask us if we want McDicks?" Puck questioned.

"Uhhhh... Yeah, pretty much." Kurt shrugged. "I mean, I've known I was dying since I was six, you get used to it. And I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want you to be my friends just because I was 'the sick kid', you know?" That did it, Rachel snapped.

"You're not just the sick kid Kurt! This isn't something you can brush off like diabetes or cancer! HIV has a 100% fatality rate!" She screamed at him. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

I go for piercings and tattoos knows I'm positive, and I am ordered BY A DOCTOR to smoke weed before every meal." Kurt just grinned. "You learn to take life day by day, and if I want a tattoo or a piercing, I go out to Fort Wayne, so no one in Lima knows." He took a deep breath. "The hardest part to deal with is the cravings. Did you know that I have cravings that are 16 years old? I still crave heroin, even though the only times I've had it was when my biological mother shot up every fucking day." He brought out his burger and opened it, checking under and on top of all the patties before getting rid of the pickles, and then bit into it. In reality, Kurt was freaking out on the inside. He was panicking, what was he going to do? Could he transfer schools? But then he'd lose all his friends, but if he didn't leave and lost all his friends anyway, then they weren't really his friends to begin with. He chewed, swallowed, then looked up at everyone.

"So, am I going to have to transfer, or can I stay?" He asked.

End Chapter Two

AN: so that is it, longer than chapter one... About 1350 words... So I'm not gonna beg for reviews, but it would be nice, and I will NEVER hold a chapter hostage, but really people, it has been just over 3 hours since I posted the first chapter, and 5 people have alerted, but only 2 reviewed, oh! And feel free to review in simple French, very simple French, as I understand enough to muddle along... I'm Canadian, so I HAD to take it for 5 years, but chose to take it for an additional 3... I will reply in English though, because I cannot write in French with proper grammar, only read and speak it.


	3. Chapter 3

_Positive_ by MortalityIsAnExpiryDate

AN: You guys make me blush! I've been put on story alerts and I've been favourited, but never this much this fast! Oh, and I added a bit to chapter 2, sorry about the three emails that got sent out, but for some reason the page breaks aren't working! It's been just under 24 hours since I started writing this, and 12 people have put this on their alert list, and it has been favourited by one! I feel like crying!

Chapter Three:

"Why the hell would you think you'd have to transfer? Where would you transfer for that matter?" Puck asked.

"Because I'm positive, and you know how the rumour mill works about around here." Kurt replied.

"Don't be an idiot Kurt, give me some of your weed and we can keep it hush-hush." Santana said, smirking.

"But Santana, you told Lord Tubbington that weed was bad for you, so you can't do it either!" Brittany said to her.

"Fine Britt-Britt," Santana replied.

Kurt bit into his burger, chewed and swallowed, then passed his fries off to Finn,

"Here, take them, I don't want them," He said, then took another bite of his burger; he quickly finished eating and drank his coke.

"So, is everyone passed the 'Kurt is dying oh-mi-gawd' phase yet?" he asked, looking around the room, eyeing Rachel and Mercedes in particular, still waiting for a blow up. "'cause if you haven't, I'm gonna go for a smoke." Kurt said, grabbing his bag and heading towards the door, tossing his garbage away. Everyone just looked at him like he was a bit crazy. Kurt fiddled with his lip ring, biting his lip and sucking slightly on the ring. He stopped.

"Are you guys sure that you're okay with this?" He asked nervously.

"No Kurt, we are not okay with this! You can't just go and drop a huge bombshell like this on us and expect us to be cool with it, like it is no big deal that you're dying!" Rachel wailed.

Kurt winced.

"Just calm down Rachel, it'll be okay, I'm still gonna be around for a few years.' He said, "Just not as long as you all expected me to be, I'm just never gonna grow old and wrinkly, which is a blessing." Kurt laughed nervously.

"It's not that big of a deal, he's still Kurt." Finn said with a shrug.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, FINN HUDSON, ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU KNEW THIS ENTIRE TIME?" Rachel screamed at him.

Finn looked at the floor.

"Yeah, I knew, of course I knew; how could I not? Our parents _are_ dating, and we did move in together." Finn said. "I mean, I did do a pretty good job keeping it a secret, didn't I?" He asked.

"This is something big Finn, something you shouldn't keep a secret!" Rachel snapped. Everyone just stared at Rachel.

"It was important to Kurt that no one knew, Rachel; he didn't want us to treat him any differently." Puck said, with an understanding look on his face.

"Who do you know that is HIV positive?" Kurt asks, realization dawning on him.

"My old man, he was always a dead beat, got it from drug use when Sarah was a baby, he split soon after, I only know because I heard him and my mom fighting about it, but I didn't know what HIV was, 'cause I was 10, you know?" Puck said, looking down, ashamed.

"You know, he could be still alive, hey Puck? If he's on medication, he could possibly still be in stage 2, I mean, I am, I have been in stage 2 for 3 years, but it didn't start showing up for 12 years. We always knew I was positive, I have another 5 years at least in stage 2, my doctor hopes I'll make it to 25 or 30 before it becomes AIDS." Kurt said, looking at Puck slightly hopefully. Kurt looked at his watch; they still had ½ an hour before lunch was over. He walked back over to the stands, put his stuff back down and dug in his bag, pulled out some sheet music. Kurt then walked over to Brad, handed him the music. Brad nodded and sat down at the piano. The opening chords started to play, Kurt started singing.

_I've got a hunger  
>Twisting my stomach into knots<br>That my tongue was tied off_

My brain's repeating  
>"If you've got an impulse let it out"<br>But they never make it past my mouth.

Finn and Artie joined in, soon followed by Puck

_Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<br>Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<em>

Our youth is fleeting  
>Old age is just around the bend<br>And I can't wait to go grey

And I'll sit and wonder  
>Of every love that could've been<br>If I'd only thought of something charming to say.

Mercedes, Tina, Brittany, and Santana join in.

_Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<br>Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<br>Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<br>Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<br>Baa bah, this is the sound of settling  
>Baa bah, baa bah<em>

Finally, for the last line, Rachel joins in.

_I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots. _

Kurt looks around the room.

"Don't tell anyone, please guys. _Please._" He pleaded.

End Chapter Three

AN: Okay, that is it for this chapter... Wow, three chapters, and I've only got half the day done... This is gonna be LONG! Oh, and I don't own "The Sound of Settling" by Death Cab for Cutie either, and I will not own any songs that are found in this either...


	4. Chapter 4

_Positive_ by MortalityIsAnExpiryDate

AN: So, it's been two weeks, I know, I'm bad... And I'm supposed to be writing ANOTHER essay, but then I got hit with the idea to update this, so here it goes, wish me luck! And I have no idea how to make the page breaks show up, even in OpenOffice, there was supposed to be a page break in chapter two... If anyone is curious, I got a 65% on the last essay I was supposed to write -not to bad for handing in a rough draft-, the one I was a paragraph in on when I started this...

AN 2: So I wrote the first bit of this about two weeks ago, and now that it's Easter week, I can finally finish the damn thing! Oh, and I'm kinda fiddling with the idea of a Criminal Minds fic, one with Reid and an OFC pairing, but I'm not too sure... If I do write the fic, then it's gonna be called "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" and the OFC is gonna be based off of the description given of Nona, the girl in the song. Oh, and this will ALWAYS take priority.

Chapter Four:

"Fine, we won't tell, but what are we gonna do when the hobbit over there opens her mouth and Jewfro finds out, you know it'll be up on his blog faster than you can say HIV." Santana snapped.

"I don't know, just try to keep it quiet," Kurt said, eyeing Rachel as she opened her mouth. "Yes Rachel, you blab, you blab a lot."

"I do not!" she protested.

"Sorry to break it to you, but you kind of do Rachel." Finn said, wincing slightly at the brutal honesty, which was a first for him. Normally he never cared how callous he was.

Rachel just looked down at the floor, slightly ashamed. "I never meant to, it just sort of happened."

"It doesn't just happen, especially not with what happened last year. That was intentional, and you know it." Quinn said defensively.

"I... I just thought Finn should know... I mean..." Rachel's voice trailed off. Kurt looked at her, then at the clock.

"The bell is gonna ring soon, we should probably get going, but please, try to keep this quiet." Kurt said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking out the door to the choir room. He pulled his cigarettes out of his jacket pocket, putting one in his mouth as he walked to the end of the hall, pulling his lighter out of his pocket as well.

Kurt left it up to them; the ball was in their court so to speak. It was up to them, not him. If they decided to blab, he could not take responsibility for their actions, at least they were semi-discreet when they told the rest of glee club. No one over heard anything, at least, it didn't seem like they did. No one was looking at him funny, or avoiding him anymore than they did before. Kurt sat down on the curb and lit his cigarette, taking a few drags before he pulled his cell out of his pocket. There was a text from Finn;

_'Hey, evry1 decided to leave u alone for the day, thought u were taking everything 2 calmly, afraid u would snap or something, and evry1 is gonna try 2 keep it quiet, but idk how long that is gonna last.'_ read the text from Finn.

Kurt quickly replied _'k, cool'_, then finished his smoke. He stood up, walked to his locker, and pulled out his books. _Time to head to Physics_, he thought, and headed to the classroom.

Kurt exited the Chemistry room when the bell rang, digging his keys out of his pocket while walking towards his locker. He grabbed his things and shoved everything in his bag, not caring for once if it was in order. On his way out to the parking lot he saw Finn coming towards his car, and sighed. _What__ now?_ Kurt questioned internally as he used the automatic locks to unlock the doors as he got close.

"Hey Kurt!" Finn said brightly.

"What do you want Finn? Anything from the store?" Kurt questioned as he got in the car, tossing his stuff in the passenger seat, and turning on the car.

"Uh, Mom texted me and asked if you could pick up some bread and more milk, we are out." Finn replied.

"Okay, I'll grab some at the store, is that it?" Kurt said as he shut the door, and rolled down the window.

"Yeah, that is it; just remember that we have a Glee meeting tomorrow about the lack of a 12th member." Finn said.

"Yeah, will do, bye Finn, see you at home!" Kurt replied, and then dug into his pocket for a smoke, pushing his built-in lighter in to heat up. He then pulled his seat belt on and pulled out of the parking lot.

He heard the click of the lighter and pulled it out, and quickly lit his smoke. He put the lighter back and held his smoke in between his lips, changing lanes to turn left, on his way to the pharmacy.

Kurt pulled into the CVS parking lot, and got out. Quickly he finished his smoke, and then walked in. He sighed, and then walked up to the counter.

"Hey Jack, I called in yesterday about a refill on all of my meds?" Kurt asked politely.

"Hi Kurt, and yes, we got it all filled here." Jack replied, handing Kurt his prescription. When you are in every week, you tend to get to know the pharmacists by name.

"Thanks Jack, I assume my dad paid for it in advance?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, he did, have a nice day."

"I will, thanks again Jack." Kurt replied as he left.

Kurt hopped in his car and pulled out of the parking lot, then drove down the street to the Walmart. He grabbed a cart on his way inside, and went to the grocery department. Quickly he grabbed a large container of Kraft peanut butter, a loaf of bread, and then went to the refrigerated section to grab milk. While he was there he made a rash decision and grabbed a gallon jug of chocolate milk for Finn, and two two quart containers of strawberry soy milk for himself, along with his regular vanilla soy, and two 1% gallon containers. Kurt popped by the produce department and grabbed a few oranges, as he had noticed they were out.

Kurt sighed as he went to pay for his groceries, thinking over the events of the day. Not only was it the first day of school, but everyone in Glee found out he was positive. He passed the bored woman at the till his credit card, and left, grabbing his groceries and tossing them in the back of his car.

Kurt lit a smoke and drove home. It had been a _long_ day.

Kurt got home and unloaded the groceries, and then grabbed his bag, somehow managing to grab it all in one trip. He quickly unpacked all the groceries, putting everything away.

"Hey dad, are you inside?" Kurt asked, and then realized it was pointless as there was a rerun of what sounded like a baseball game on the TV. He walked into the living room and saw his dad on the couch. Tears gathered in his eyes.

"Daddy, I don't know what to do." Kurt said, his emotions finally catching up to him.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Burt questioned.

"Everyone in Glee knows, Santana found out about my bag and blabbed and now everyone knows. I just don't know what to do about it." Kurt answered, sitting beside his dad.

"Is everyone gonna keep it quiet?" Burt asked, putting an arm around his son.

"I hope so. I mean you never really know with Rachel blurting junk out and Brit not knowing when it's appropriate to talk about things and when it isn't, and I just don't know. I just don't know Dad."

"Well, if everyone at school finds out, you can always transfer to Dalton. You know we've looked into it before." Burt said

"I know, it's just, I don't want to leave my friends."

"Kurt, they aren't your friends if they spill your deepest secret." Burt replied softly.

"I know Dad, I just..." Kurt trailed off, and then started again, "I just don't wanna start over again, you know? And the tuition thing, it is so expensive, but I _might_ be able to get a scholarship because of my vocal range and grades, I don't know. I'll look into it, just in case I do need to transfer." Kurt sighed, it was just so freaking hard!

"Don't bother calling me for supper, I'm too upset to eat, or even think about eating. Milk and soy milk is in the fridge; tell Finn he owes me $5 for the gallon of chocolate milk. The peanut butter is in the cupboard, and the bread is in the bread box."


End file.
